For many people it may seem we are getting into oxymoron territory here. “Public speaking…enjoyable? You must be kidding mate”. Many are called upon to speak and reluctantly they give their talk without talent, enthusiasm or particular motivation. A duty, an unavoidable pain, like going back to the dentist for that root canal. As we rise in our careers, the necessity to speak in public goes right up in frequency and length. Unfortunately, no one tells you this is what is on the cards for future you, so you are perpetually unprepared. If we knew this was part of our unescapable future, then we would all get the training and end the misery right there.
Even for those who are sufferers, do they seek relief through getting training? No. They just continue blundering forward, reeking havoc wherever they go, destroying their personal and professional brands. This includes those who are devastated by nerves, quivering, pulse racing, hot flushes sweeping over their body, faces going bright red, knees knocking, stomach queasy and throat parched. Do they get training? No. They just lurch from fearfulness to fearfulness, whenever they are required to speak in front of others.
What do we need to fix this. Obviously training is one part and so is repetition. Most speeches though are one offs, a one and done affair. The speech has been used up for that audience, on that day and then it is shelved forever. So how do we get repetition? We may not get the chance to repeat the content, but we can give more talks. To do that though we have stop hiding from the chance. As a child in Brisbane, I watched the Three Stooges on black and white television and one of the jokes would be two of them would step back when asked to volunteer, making it appear that the other one had stepped forward, wanting to do the task. Reluctant speakers are mentally doing the same thing. Whenever the chance to get some repetition going comes up, they step back and let others do it.
Even if the chance to present to an audience is a one time thing, that doesn’t mean the talk is a one time thing. If we are smart, we are giving this speech numerous times. We do these without an audience, in private, as a rehearsal for the big event. I competed in senior level Karate competition for many years and would never dream of going on to the mat and doing the kata or prearranged patterns, once only just for the judges. I would be practicising for months in the Dojo, rehearsing that kata, over and over again until I dropped. Why would putting your reputation out there in business require anything less?
By the time you hit that stage you are well practiced and confident. Consequently your brain doesn’t release masses of chemicals preparing you for battle with a sabre toothed tiger, where you either run away or stand your ground and fight. Consequently, come showtime you are not so nervous. Some nerves yes, but not debilitating.
The other mental shift is to decide who this speech is about. Not what it is about, but who it is about. For people who hate speaking in public or become crippled with nerves, the speech is all about them. It is about their mental trauma, induced by how they feel they will be judged by the audience and their deep fears of imminent, unmitigated disaster, about to humiliate them for the rest of time.
We must switch the focus to the audience. We are giving each person six seconds of eye contact, inducing that feeling in them, that they are only person in the room. Hawk like, we are scrutinising their reaction to what we are saying. We are judging if they are with us or do we have to push harder to bring them on board. We are pumping out our ki (気) or intrinsic energy into the audience, to maximise our body language. We are using congruent gestures to add lustre and power to our words. Tonal variety, variations in speed and power engage the audience, such that they are eschewing their mobile phone’s siren call to escape to the internet.
In response, some will smile, nod, laugh at your amusing asides, follow you through the navigation of the talk. After a while, some will start to lean into you. It will only be a few millimetres, but what a rush that feeling is. When twenty, thirty, fifty, one hundred people start doing that at the same time, there is a powerful energy in the room. It hits you like a drug racing through your veins and leaves you looking for your next hit. This is when public speaking surpasses duty and becomes a real pleasure.